No Reason to Love A Break

Know why I select the Sept Wallpaper as my blog pic even though is not reaching Sept yet??.... Hehehehe..

Sept indicates a short pause to this stressful practicum life and of course a short break to somewhere sunny, breeze wind and vast sky and sea.. I'm awaiting it... Counting down =D

beach. sun. sea. sky

I'm kinda used to the power point and worksheet life. Felt so bad that I have this kind of bad impression of Dr Sam b4 my 2nd obv by her. But last week obv, she gave me the best advice and encouragement I have ever got during this practicum period. She wrote this in my APT form: Trainee deserves a better group of students who will benefit from her well-prepared lesson.. When you know someone (esp the big people) understands your difficulty and the feeling of despair, that is the best kind of motivation to move me on. That's why I look happier this week... =D.. Thanks Dr Sam...

And from this incident, I realise I dun really know how to judge a person... until I get to see the real side of him/her.

A short break.... finally

I think I nearly suffer from mental breakdown... dunno how my CT stands that class. Whatever is it, I'm so gg to enjoy my weekends..Seriously, I need a few days off to clear my mind, preparing for the rest of the challenge.

Well, stepping into week 7.. 3 more weeks to end the practicum. Week 7 is a battle with 33 and my NIE sup. Week 8 is to clear whatever is left. Week 9 and 10 to be a conclusion and wrap up of so far what I have done. Week 11 =D, phuket here I come!!!

I do not want to lose my passion in teaching. But, sometimes.... it's really testing my patience. Watched a singapore drama replay this afternoon at home which talked about education today when respect to teachers is negligible, when education with love comes first, when students are the 'customers' of school, so... teachers are service officers, cannot scold and reprimand the students...I felt a sudden bitter urge, and disappointment perhaps. I believe education does not mean only academic, school is also a place you learn about character development. But, this is the one lacking in our society.. ..When will we realise the seriousness of this issue?

Restless Days

Since the start of practicum, I have not had a proper rest... I wonder how long I can take it.
If is to count my daily working hours, I will tell you it is more 15 hours... that's mean deducting the sleeping hours.. face-booking hour and makan time. I know, I am under STRESS... =(

I had insomnia the first two weeks of practicum, probably can't adjust to the sleeping hours yet. Woke up 5 plus in the morning wondering how am i going to conduct today lesson.
Sitting in the hall working out all the lesson ideas, lesson plan during weekends!!.. That's the most torturing things you can have on weekends..

Enduring all the nonsense and unethical treatment from the students? I couldn't bother so much. Make myself feeling bit happy that I still have my cute 14 and obedient 2B with me.. even the most notorious students in these 2 classes are much much better than wat i had had in 33.. Please, 14 & 2B, please don't turn into 33 when u r in Sec 3. I couldn't say all 33 students are bad, there are good ones, very good ones..and that's the problem, I feel guilty that I can't control my class leading to these students can't study.

I suppose to write a reflection every week, which will be read by the cts, and v.principle. So, what do you aspect me to write? "I can't control the class?" "I am stress?" and the next moment, I will be called in...

Lesson plan, ppt slides, quiz, worksheet, test and more more interesting lesson idea.... Argh..
Now is Week4... 6 more weeks to go...

A Short Break

Yes, you can see that I'm having a break as I update my blog quite frequently =)

After the torturing SMMT (in fact, i did enjoy learning the Math concepts, but I couldn't stand the exam part. Forget about it, just hope i can pass), Xy, Grace and I went to Malacca and the last minute Genting trip. 30 May-1June. This time, I was the tour guide =)

We got on the Malacca bus from Larkin (RM19), the journey took about 3 hrs. That's when we decided to go genting on the next day, I was totally unprepared for the Genting trip with just a very very thin cardigan, but, nothing stop our craziness.

Malacca is a nice sweet town. I love it at first sight from the last trip I went during Dec. The old street scenery, the old buildings with Nanyang plus westerner style. I knew it loves me too because everytime I was there, it was raining-_-. Even the taxi uncle said the last few days were scotching hot except on the day we were there. Same place, same food, same scene but with different people, we arrived at He Ji Chicken rice ball, I lurvee the asam fish and chicken rice BAllss there, delicious. After that, as usual, tried the cendol. Thick sugar Malacca.

We checked in The Baba House hotel. Yeap, a nice, sweet baba nyonya style hotel, but to my disappointment, my superior twin room turned out to be like, standard room? I wonder how the standard room looks like. Apart from that, everything is fine. I like the Baba nyonya design.

Brought Xy and Grace to the historical sites, the 'red house', the lonely wall and etc etc. And nite for satay celup, talking about satay cellup, I find it is nothing special after the 2nd time, esp if I were to wait for an hour to get a place? No third time perhaps. Then, a nite stroll at the nite market, get for myself a tangram.. teacher's habits =)

Some photos on show. Let's skip Genting part. A nice trip overall. =)

Yes, I am now having HOLIDAYSss

Shall I officially declare it on my fb, msn or even email to everyone?
Cox the first impression everyone has is: waa, teacher so good. can get two months holidays.

And when you are trying to tell them how hard you work that you deserve this holidays, and is not official two months, when we still need to prepare materials at home, meetings, ccas and planning. Well, they won't listen, they just couldn't get it.

To them, teaching is just talking nonsense in class and getting easy earn money, high hourly rate. and maybe a more relaxing job when you are married (for gals).

I'm not an engineer, and I never be. Is it the reason that's why I never compare my job to theirs. If i were to compare, well, you said you work almost 9 hrs in office but I could see you online total 9 hrs too during working. So, are you working for fb? When you back home and could put all the work aside to watch drama, chatting, do you even notice that I'm still rushing for presentation next day? You earn you two day weekends off to rest as much as you want, but I'm still struggling to come out with good lesson plans the next week.

I'm not trying to compare but just a space for me to vent my disappointment. I'm not trying to say teaching is a hard job too, because there are always harder and tougher job than this. I'm just trying to say; Don't compare. Do your own thing, say your own words. Why make yourself feeling worse to compare with something you are not in the position to comment?

The Dollar Sign

A sign that makes people crazy about. Well, can we say it changes people too?
I heard many people asking this question before. Are you working for money? So, do you?

Yes, to me,money is important. I need it to survive; I need it to achieve my big dream of travel around; I need it to build a better life. But, the satisfaction of work is equally important to me as well.

It has been a year since we first entered the working society, and the topics on the dinner table have been circling around the jobs, salary and still, salary. Sometimes, I get fed up of these, people envying each other of how high of one's salary, how many months of bonus ones get. So, this envy slowly turns into jealously, and well, what could we know how this jealously would turn to?

I find no point comparing each other, it just makes you sick, and listless of your current job. Keep on thinking of job hopping, higher salary or bigger power. A friend was thinking of changing job, because of the dollar sign but not the job prospect and the environment. I actually wanna give an advice, but I knew I'm not in that position to say it; If money is a matter, then go ahead to find a better one. But if money is not, please place the career prospect ahead of other issue. Dun let the dollar sign blinds your path!

And now I know, this dollar sign could change a person. No matter how hard you trying to deny.

Which one will you choose??

I often in this type of difficult situation.
If you are bilingual, which one will you choose to buy?


or


Yes，i know is quite stupid to compare these two different language magazines.. By the way, the 'CLEO' would always give people an impression :this person is fashionable! Wow, she is cool, reading this magazines... bla bla.

But for people reading U mag, some might think: oh, she is so low class. Low standard ppl reading U mag.

I dunno why, but frankly speaking, I like U mag much much more than CLEO. U know when u flip CLEO mag, half of the mag is all all about advertisements, clothes..emm, feeling bit than my $4.60 gone half for all these ads. U mag does have ads also, but for $2.. u got to read all the gossips, interesting stories bla bla...it really worth! I will still go for U....

Just a nonsensical thought of these 2 mags...no offend... can't think of any other interesting things to write.

April

The last 2 weeks were like the busiest week in my life.... i hope not many more weeks like that.
They say practicum is even worse... Grrr... why they want to stress people to that point?

I realise I dun have anymore luxury time to spend for myself, out of NIE, out of work or study and that is bad.

But (trying to encourage myself again-_-), think about it, I still have time to play hotel city =D, I still have at least 6 hrs of nice sleep, I still able to move around, bla bla bla.. so, I should appreciate what I have now... Just move on, no more complain!!=)

Plus, just watched a video talking about Dr. Randy Pausch, his inspirational speech on Oprah show about 2 yrs ago. It is called 'The Last Lecture' talk cox Dr. Randy Pausch actually suffered from cancer when he gave this talk, he talked about his childhood dream, his work and his advice to people on how to live ur life... I guess I shouldn't have anymore complains... I should appreciate the chance to learn n work.

Busy March

A lot of things happening in March. Like I failed the SMMT test.. argh, suddenly hate Math so much. Like the never ending assignments and presentations. I wonder when is my free day. Dunno how many weekends have burned for assignmentssss.... meetingssss.... and meetingssss again. When you reach a point of time you dun ve motivation to do anything..... I understand your feeling, because this is what I feel now... so tiring =(...... I couldn't even find time to go back Msia.

I want to play.... I want to go Night Safari.... I want to go shopping....

夜晚

夜深人静的夜晚，
总是让人有特别多的感想。

三月，依然那么炎热，
届总而来的课业，
让我一时不习惯这种繁忙的生活，
我，还在质疑，
当老师的能力。

突然很想去旅行，
找寻生活的方向，
我，爱上了旅行的意义。
我想趁年轻，行走这个世界=）

Change of Heart

I just finish reading Jodi Picoult 'Change of Heart'. That is a very impressive and persuasive novel. I like the way Picoult questions at mankind. Let's keep aside the plot of the story, what I really want to write about this book is the way we look at human.

How do we define a bad guy? By their looks? Their professions? Or by your heart? To say it selfishlly, most of us judge by looks. How much do we really trust a person, let it be your closest friend? The society perspective often leads us to a same judgement. People with darker skin tend to be bad guy. People with slobby clothes are poor.

There's an incident in ICA when I need to take a photoshot at a studio there. The person before me is a handsome Ang Moh. Ok, I agree he is slightly more polite than me. But from the bottom of my heart, I dun think that is the reason why we are treated differently by the lady who helped us take photo. When is the Ang Moh turn, she smiled at him, service 100% perfect, helped him to adjust his position to get the best shot. But when is my turn, her attitude is like 180 degree change, I guess I didn't do anything to her before. Without any smile on her face, she just said: Dun move, flip your hair to the side.... Be it my own suspicious mind or watever, he is human, so am I? Then why are we treated differently?? Does he pay u more for the photo shot, or just the reason as simple as because of skin color?

I hate the mention of skin color. I hate even more the mention as second class citizen. There is all about races, religions. So, to be truthful, if there is a chance, do we get to choose where we are born? what are our skin color? Then, what the reason to make someone so special as the privileged citizens?

When someone mentioned statement like: Indian come to this country as beggar; Chinese esp gals as prostitute. These racist remarks as surprisingly, doesn not really affect me. I guess I have immuned to such things happen in my country, or is that another way saying I am abandoning my homeland? But the first thing that came into my mind, I feel ashamed of my country, I feel sorry for the person who said this, I feel sorry for him as one of the country leadermen, but show nothing except his brainless thinking. Resign doesn't mean to show your heroin acts. It doesn't really matter he left or not from this government, since most of them are of the same kind. 多一个，少一个，也没分别。He is just making fool of himself.

There is always unfairness in this world. As long as you are happy satisfied with your life now. I guess that is already a great life you are living. So, live it! =D

爱的季节。 生病的季节

最近，很多人生病，包括我。有人说，是因为炎热的天气。也听说，因为春风吹袭。
新年将至，在新加坡却感受不到新年气息。
新年，其实在人们的心里，到底变成怎样的一个节日？

久违的自由

The clock strikes 11.30pm, in ntu, this is just starting of my night activities and the hall compound is like having nite parties, but now, in the BB house, I am alone in the living room typing this blog. I missed the hostel day in NTU.

The title, 'long forgotten freedom', it has been 8 months since we move in together to BB. Tonight, I am typing this happily and feeling secure, because I knew no one is beside peeping at me doing wat. I surf net as I like, google-ing things like never before, type watever nonsense as in my blog. This blog no longer becomes a secret when move into BB. I guess every of my housemates knew when I am writing blog, just they keep quiet about that.

That's one of the cons part staying tgt, u seldom have own privacy. My working place is situated at the most significant place in the house. Right in front of living room where anyone passes by know wat am i doin.

Sometimes I just want to watch some stupid shows, when housemate just pop his head over to my desktop and asked: hey, wat r u watching. Suddenly, I dun have the mood to watch the show. (I remember once when I wanna watch' sex and the city' drama, if they knew i'm watching this, I will become a big gossip issue, and so I moved cs' laptop to a position they can't see). Since when, watching drama becomes such a hassle.

Sometimes I just wanna surf some travel blogs and air fare website when housemates passed by asking, hey, u wanna go travel? So free? and that so, I dun feel like surfing net anymore.

I was a drama addict. Not so now, i guess some reason may be due to my current situation at home. I can't really enjoy my drama when ppl peeing at wat am i watching. I dun like the feeling.

I guess I realise now the importance of privacy. I miss my time in NTU where I can surf net without irritation. I miss my little corner where I can do whatever I like. I miss the long lost freedom.

Skin Food. Body Shop. Fanatic

The great urge to buy skin care products started when one day, zuan zai realized her skin need nutrition. So.. we went to CS to explore. Body Shop emm, not to zuan's flavour. Then skin food. Ok, something strike our eyes, as zuan's face needs moisturizing more than others, the sales girl recommended the lettuce + cucumber power hydrating series. At last, we decided to buy the essence and emulsion, cost around RM120++... this time we are all way out... for zuan's 21yrs times.. she's gg to treat her skin a good feast. Butttt..... something caught my eye, haiz... gals are always that calculative and we cannot refrain from temptation. There's a board wrote " Spend RM200 and above get a diary".. and u know, the diary is so so cute, sweet plus the sales girl fantastic persuasive skill... at last, we add on a RM80+ eye lightening serum... to get the cute diary... and there goes our RM200..-_-"

When the money spent, u need to be happy. So, we happily decorate all our proudly skin care products into one basket. Here's the list, the neutrogena toner, the skin food lettuce + cucumber essence n emulsion, my existing Biotherm moisturizer and Body Shop Tea tree skin blemish care, all into the one precious basket.

A week after skin food retail therapy. One day, happily we went to IMM to shop. And and ther's a great sign showing 'THE BODY SHOP' sales. OMG, there's goes my Jan salary again... ok, when there's a good bargain, u know is too hard to just leave the site without NOTHING. So, we enter the dangerous area, out with $80 worth of Body Shop products. Strawberry, Mango, Sunkist, Grapefruit, Japaness Cherry Blossom, aqua lily and the ** Shimmering ** merry cranbury body lotion. Hee. ok, we dunno why we bought so many body lotion for wat also, ther's no much reason when a gal shop! But, except the shimmering body lotion, the rest are small convenience bottles... that's not much anyway.. ok, I know i am trying to make myself feel better, that my $$ is well spent.

So, now.. we gonna add on another basket, esp for BODY SHOP products. Grrr. My spending power seemed to increase alot... but my earning power is still the same... Argh... izit a sign means I have to source for something, to earn xtra?

Reality

"I'm still not used to writing date ending with 2010"... this shall be my first thought of year 2010 =D.
New year represents some sort of new life. Yep, is true for me. I guess entering into NIE opens a new phase of experiences. However, I am still struggling to overcome the 'Holiday too idle syndrome'. Guess i need some time to recover, regain the energy.

Okie, some opening good news for the new year=D. Ann zai, well, scores extremely well for her O-level. She said she cried like shit, which I believe is true. I guess she has never been so determined and hardworking before, and probably this is the first time she realizes what is important. Keep up the good job for ur A-level and of course ur Uni life. Sometimes, when I reflect back to my dear little sis secondary study journey, I wonder what's going to happen if she didn't receive the scholarship. How will she be if she's still in Mxxa. We often ridicule she will be the next gangster head if she's still in kt. u can write a story of ur life, ann zai. On how u transform from devil into emm.. angel?Ok, not to that extreme.

This links me to the importance of education. As an educator now, I witness so much difference bet Sg education and my own country. In a country that can't even decide the language of study, how far do u hope your people can do for you. In a country that emphasizes that much on particular race study context and set a stupid moral module that attempts to fail everyone, how loyal do you want your people to be for you. and i guess they dun even bother to accept u as own ppl except when u r needed. Wat ridiculous ' 1 Mxxxxxxa ’ remark, that is so fake. Cherish what you have, sgreanss...dun always complain the foreign talents grab all your goodies. We are just the minority seeking for a new land for some opportunities and yet there are far more durable chances for you that u never realize. Perhaps when you look at another perspective, some complaining and stop comparing, you will find your own land.

Holidayss 2 - The Friends Episode

Ok, I admit I have not played enough. Just few days after the Mc-Sz-Hk trip, Shirlin asked me whether I would like to join the Malacca trip, I answered her immediately ' Yes, why not. Count me in', and here we go.. Malacca- historical city of Malaysia =D...

My memories of Malacca was the Sec 2 School trip, organized by Teacher Tang. A fade scene in my mind of Malacca is the red house, the butterfly farm, durian cendol and a big ship, and of course A Famosa, this one I vividly remember, because the little princess Ann zai spoilt it all...


Historical walk =)


The food episode- we waited 1 hr for the famous satay cellup-_-'. It is worthwhile anyway.
Besides satay cellup, tried also the famous Chicken rice ball, the most original one according to Tc, I like this the most. Durian cendol. Bah Kut Teh, Dim sum.. wuahahaha.



New tourist spot in Malacca- the eye and the tamang sari tower.

Malacca is a nice place with good food and nice view. At the historical area, the A famosa and the gate, I was like return to Macao =)They were all under Portugis , so have the same architectures. Just one thing about Malacca that i dun like, the traffic but I guess they are doing their best to expand the road.

One more thing, I saw more Singaporeans than local tourists in Malacca... Out of 10 cars in the hotel, 9 are Sg cars.. which means Malacca becomes the latest weekend escape spots for Singaporeans? It could be a good news to boost the local tourist industry but I hope it doesn't cause inflation in prices of food and goods there.

Thanks again Tc for organizing this short but sweet trip. I guess the rain doesn't spoil our mood =). Thanks also to the guys who took turns driving the car.

Holidayss 1- The Family Episode

The long waited family trip. After the much disappointed Bangkok plan, this Mc-Sz-Hk trip held a great stress over me. I cannot accept another blow if this time the airplane or whatever political chaos or h1n1 pandemic stop my holiday plan. Blessed, i finally brought my family except Jie oversea to Mc-Sz-Hk.

I guess a picture wins over a thousand words... lets just post some holidays pic =). Thx zuan for making these pictures. =)



Oct east --> The wetland garden



Macao-- The historical and entertaining city.



Hong Kong-- the peak n wax museum.


Oct east

There's a lot of lessons and memories for my first oversea family trip. Sometimes I may be too anxious to show them what to see during the trip that I overlooked my parents esp my father's needs. Free n Easy is tiring n requires lots of walking which may not be suitable for elderly. This is one thing I need to take note. Anyway, is a nice trip and I enjoy listening to my father's great discovery of sz life which I never noticed during the last trip, 'How come Sz never has fatso. The fattest is your mummy', he said. =)

How Many Times...

No invigilation duty today, after that day the invi mistake, now i felt so odd to go for any invi duty. Luckily, there's only one more day left.

1 student sent me her blogspot add, in her blog posts, most of it mingled around her messy life, her broken family, her boring life. At that instant, I felt so much to reply her; life is not boring. U determine ur own life, although u might from a broken family, but it shouldn't block ur way towards pursuing the lilfe u want. I hope she won't blame her mother anymore, because from wat I see, her mother still loves her alot. When something happens in life, we like to put the fault on others, how many times do we really thought about our own mistake?

Talked about 'the gal' that day. I knew my fren will stay by her. Alot of times, frens told me this is none of my business. If he really wants to go bec to her side, it is none of my concern also, I'm not his parents or family. I told my fren, if one day, they 2 are really together, I won't give them any blessings. I said that. I'm not purposely want to make my fren life worse, I knew he will feel bad because of him, I hate the gal so much. But when I truely think abt it, it is no longer totally because of my good fren, is because of the gal's character. Some mistakes in life cannot be fixed. When once there's someone give u so much concern and loves which u reject and even hurt the person, and now you want to get it back. Sorry, I will only look down at you.
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These days have been quite free, not much school duties. I hate gg out the room early in the morning if i'm not required to go school, wk would ask:' today no sch again, so nice to be a teacher, so free.' Not sure is it teaching trained my EQ, I did not show my temper, just rebuke him that since he felt that so, why not take up teaching? He just barely answered because he is not interested.... Always, people like to compare and envy of others, how many times do we really cherish of what we have? I knew every jobs has its difficulty, so I never give any sarcastic comments to their jobs since I didn't even try of these jobs. As teacher, I need to overcome the fear of speaking in fronts of others, so many times, I need to control my temper when dealing with groups of monkeys. So many times, I need to think of ways to encounter questions from students and even teachers and not to say crack my brain for more creative lessons for students. When late in night I'm still preparing for next day lesson while others who claim they work from 9 to 6 which to them is consider so much hardworking than teachers is playing and surfing nets, how many of you really realize I'm busy, teachers are busy, and more, we do not have OT. Please stop comparing, that will only make your own life suffering.

Reading 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' at the moment. The book teaches us how to become rich. But wat more, I feel that this book is actually teaching us how to look at your own life, what do you want for ur life and how to look at people characteristic. The book challenges the belief that bright kids with professional jobs will be rich. When I'm reading it, I realized that my school education does not even teach me about money. We have the belief from young, from secondary sch when we are choosing elective subjects. The brighter ones will go to science stream, the not so bright or so called useless kids go to the literature class. School trains the brighter one to become professional people, but not rich people. In one of the chapter which Robert wrote about 'Work to learn; Don't work for money', that talked about a writer who has a great talent in writing, but her novels just cannot sell. When Robert recommended her to take up selling and marketing course, she rebuked that she is a highly educated, professional trained writer that do not required selling course, like a low standard course to help her. Sometimes, our pride leads us to dead road, it blinds us from looking clearly for opportunities. Highly educated doesn't mean you are top of others. Highly educated doesn't mean you do not need further learning.

Look at things at different ways. Do not block your own views. =D

In Sunday Mood- My dream 1

I spent this weekend mostly on updating my blog, read on books and magazines and then I came across this book ' The 100 Places a person should go', chinese version which i bought in Shenzhen.

When always we were asked about our dreams, most will say: to travel around the world, however, in the end, how many of us could really achieve it? When in 20s, we said this is the time to start work hard, earn money and prepare for our dream. In 30s, we start building up a new family,and this dream gradually moves away slowly from our mind. In 40s, our life mingles around family and children. 50s approaching and comes 60s when our physical no longer supports our dreams.

It sounds so sad when we look back our life journey, most of our dreams are not achieved. But, to look at the other side, dreams support our life. It makes our life wonderful and colorful. I believe the process counts, not the result.

So, I have a dream, which is to visit the Top 10 destinations in my mind, the list goes as below.


rocky mountain Kilimanjaro




Hokaido Switzerland



Vermont New Zealand


Maldives Niagara Falls

2 more--- to be continued.

Why Men stay with Miss Wrong

I read this article in recent CLEO, 'why men stay with miss wrong', and in my mind, straight appearing one of my good fren image, with a gal that seems far from perfect from him.

They are not together, not couple btw. But i just cannot accept the fact that after so many things happen, he still stand with her. I admit i'm someone who will not change opinion easily. When my six sense tells me something wrong with this person, dun expect me to be fren with her. Even thought how well she was in front of others.

When you are the one once weeping in front of me, telling me how it hurts that she did this and that to you, please don't expect me to believe in her again, saying things like she had changed, she is just indecisive in relationships matters.

You may be surprise, but women that i hate most are not those bossy, self-serving or overdo in make up as wat mention in CLEO. Yes, they may be irritating but not to the extend that cause me to hate them. But those hypocrite, act pity gals are.


When a right guy/gal met with a wrong gal/guy, they have different poles charge. This is why they are attracted to each other. One day, they will split, when one party neutralizes another. This is a vicious cycle.

The right couple will have same charge, they are not ligated together because you knew they can stand on their own with each has different personalities and characters. They will stand along side by side supporting each other.